Some of you know, and some of you may not, that among other medical peculiarities I have had nerve pain in my arms and hands on and off for ten years.  It is not carpal tunnel.  It is not arthritis.  It is not fibromyalgia.  It is not disc pressure on the nerve trunks as they come off my spine.  I don’t have any extra ribs.  Electrical conduction tests confirm that the nerves work just fine.  Oh boy, do they work.

I’ve been seeing my current doctor for quite a few years now.  We’ve been around Robin Hood’s barn with this thing.

I’ve been through a parade of doctors prior to this one, physical therapists, neurologists, and chiropractors.  I have tried exercises, electrical treatments, nerve flossing, stretches, vitamins, and painkillers that made my brain not work.  My desk setup is extremely ergonomically specific.  Monitor height, negative incline keyboard arrangement, good chair.  The only thing I haven’t tried acupuncture.  Needles make me pass out.  No, they don’t hurt.  After ten years of nerve pain believe me they do NOT make the bar of ‘what hurts’.  I still pass out.

The thing that seems to reliably keep me pain-free sounds very simple.  Avoiding or carefully limiting certain motions and activities.  The trick is that the actions that are known irritants are anything that requires me to reach forward or over my head for even short periods of time, or fine motor actions over prolonged periods.  So… changing a lightbulb in an overhead fixture.  Putting away dishes.  Washing my hair.  (And if another PT tells me ‘just don’t raise your hands above your shoulders’  I may scream.  I challenge anyone to wash their own hair without putting their hands above their shoulders.) Typing.  Driving.  Knitting.  Vacuuming.  Sewing.  How much of any or all of those things I can do depends on the day and my symptom level on that given day.

What does a really good doctor repeat to me after years of beating his head on this wall?  “We’re going to keep trying until we figure out what causes this.  This is about the quality of your life.”

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Someone asked me recently what I thought it was that made me a writer.  The quick and obvious answer is that a writer is someone who writes.   I’m a writer because I write.  Yep.  Heard it a hundred and forty seven thousand times.  What is it that makes me into a me who writes?

Hunh.

I considered this question in great depth for about a second and a half and up blinked the word ‘curiosity’.  It isn’t the only thing that makes me a writer, but it’s certainly a solid cornerstone.  I’m curious about people.  My husband is endlessly amused and wry because I talk to people that I don’t know.

I converse with the lady at the meat counter (her dog has squeaky toy issues).

I chat with the dry cleaner (the roofer recommendation?  Awesome.).

I listen to nervous people on airplanes (one lovely young lady was studying casino management).

So why does that make me a writer instead of nosy as all get out?  Okay, so I am ALSO nosy as all get out.  I’m curious about people, about things, about history, about virtually everything.  Well, maybe not Nascar, but possibly I just don’t know enough about what makes that interesting to people.

I’m curious about people, about what makes them do what they do, how they think what they think.  I wonder what would make them change.  What would they do if some situation radically changed the world in which they live and how would they respond?  How do people respond to challenges in their lives?  What kinds of responses make someone, maybe even a very broken person, into a hero?

Do you write?  Why?  I’m curious.

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The wonderful thing about knowing nothing is that no one has yet explained to you why something is impossible.  Thus, I have an idea.  I’d like to preface this with the disclaimer that, though I have worked in retail sales, I know nothing whatever about running specifically a bookstore.  Nor do I know anything whatever about running a publishing house.  The below idea is the result of a panel I attended at World Fantasy Con last weekend.

Publishers have a structure they use to price a book aside from the obvious cost of printing, shipping, and their overhead.  Every hardcover they print has to pay for two copies.  The one the customer buys, and the one that the bookstore didn’t sell and will return to the publisher for their money back.  Paperbacks aren’t returned in whole, rather the bookstore tears off the cover, recycles the book body, and returns the cover for a refund.  Every paperback pays for something like three others.

Independent booksellers must take advantage of the return policy because their competitors do.  The brick-and-mortar stores are already being killed by their competition because of the deep discounts being offered by larger organizations (Amazon, CostCo, Walmart, Target…)

Independent booksellers, I’m told, return far fewer books and strip far fewer books.  One of the gentlemen claimed his returns were as low as 1%.  If this is the case (and I have no reason to think he was mistaken), why can small booksellers not arrange to buy from the publisher at a steeply reduced price with the guarantee of no returns?  They can’t afford to buy at the same price as others and NOT take the return policy advantage.  Small stores in retail frequently run on a profit margin that’s positively frightening.  If they could buy at lower prices, then smaller brick-and-mortar booksellers could offer lower prices, thereby offering more reasonable competition to the large chains and the online market.  After all… at that point the publisher doesn’t have to gamble with their pricing.  They get paid, end of transaction.  With print-on-demand, publishers might even be able to print a special reduced cover price for books bought under such an agreement.

If a publisher no longer has to try to figure out the return percentages and can simply SELL the books they sell… and if the independent bookstore has a close enough finger on the pulse of their customers to keep their failed sales under a certain percentage and could cut their buying costs enough make themselves more competative… that seems to me like a good thing all around.  Also, by keeping the independents running, publishers keep their market diverse, large, and thereby safer for themselves in the long run.

I’ve never, ever heard of a bookstore that’s happy to strip books.  My friends who’ve worked in bookstores positively loathe it.  Returns aren’t much better – they take time and are a general pain in the behind.  Publishers hate returns too.  They’re likely not any happier about stripping paperbacks.  After all, we assume publishers value books.  These policies are bad for both publisher and bookstore.  They are colossally wasteful.  So… maybe by working together they could find an agreement that makes them both winners, and kills the system.  It’s past time for the strip and return system to be euthanized.

[edited for a particularly egregious spelling error.]

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This is a story (you may begin to find a theme with these posts) about hospitality.  It is also about the town of Coldwater, Kansas.  The names and relationships below are falsified, but the fact that they were there remains the same.

The summer between my 8th and 9th grade, my family moved from Farmington, Missouri to Carson City, Nevada.  My parents, me, my younger sister, and our college-age brother along with four horses, a Welsh pony, and two cats.  We set out from Missouri in a U-Haul pulling a four and a half horse trailer, a Volare station wagon pulling an 18′ boat, and a Toyota Celica from back when they were tiny sports cars.

Well into Kansas, my mother and I (in the Volare), noticed the left rear wheel on the horse trailer beginning to wobble.  We noticed it about five seconds before the wobble went volcanic and the whole wheel ripped off the trailer and went bounding across a wheat field.  A few lug nuts had been loose, and the whole thing had gradually sawed itself off the lug bolts.

My brother (his car was the ancient Celica) retrieved the rogue wheel.  We loaded it into the boat and very carefully began to limp along the edge of the highway.  VERY slowly.  We definitely weren’t going to make Amarillo, where we had stalls and hotel reserved.  My parents portrayed it diplomatically as a grand adventure as evening started to roll around.  Privately, I think we all thought it was going to be a very long, horrible day.

A highway patrol officer came along and stopped us.  A very nice man, who looked at our caravan, and the Welsh pony with her head out the side to see what was going on, and decided we needed help.  “Well I’ll tell you what.  Go on up another X miles.  Milepost Y.  There’s a road on the right.  Go on up there ten miles and turn right, and you’ll see a sign for the fair grounds.  My brother’s buddy is up there.  I’ll call ahead and let him know you’re coming.”

We thanked the officer profusely, loaded ourselves back in the parade vehicles and limped along until we came to a fair grounds outside of Coldwater, Kansas.  The manager there explained that the stalls were… well, not so great.  But he could let us put the horses in the arena overnight.  Worked for us, they were used to being in pasture together.  The horse over the lost wheel got out of the trailer so shaky we were afraid she’d fall down.  We got them all brushed down, fed, and turned loose, and my dad was explaining cheerfully that we were going to camp out in the U-Haul when the manager came back.

“My sister-in-law’s cousin has a bed and breakfast she opens up when there’s a county fair or the rodeo.  I told her about you all and she said to send you over.”

We blinked.  Blinked.  Gulped.  Thanked the manager profusely.

“I’ll talk to Lenny over at the garage.  He has a nephew who does welding.  Between the two maybe they can help you out with that trailer.  Enough to get you into Amarillo, anyway.”

We thanked the manager some more, got into the station wagon and the Celica and headed down the road to see his sister-in-law’s cousin.  The Lady of the house came out to meet us, bundled us into her house and fed us dinner of left over stew with fresh rolls she took out of the oven as we sat down.  The rooms were freshly opened, the beds newly made, and she apologized for the closed air smell.  “Make sure you let the poor kitties out to stretch their legs.  Yes, yes, I know what the sign says.  It’s a misspelling.”  My mother found she had something in her eye.

In the morning this Lady fed us fresh-fried donuts, more biscuits, eggs, bacon… the whole midwestern ranch breakfast.  She sternly lectured my sister and I that we were to make sure we took donuts for the road.   We thanked the lady and went to feed the horses, my dad and brother went to take the trailer to the garage.  An hour later they were back.  With the trailer with all four wheels.  We loaded up four horses, one Welsh pony, and two cats.  We went on our way.

Those people scraped us up off the side of the road and were altogether amazing and wonderful to complete strangers.  Coldwater, Kansas will stand out in my mind to the end of my life as a town of exceptional grace, kindness, and hospitality.

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Today is the 80th birthday of one of the grand dames of science fiction, Ursula K. Le Guin. Happy birthday to a great and gracious lady.

It’s also the 40th anniversary of ‘The Left Hand of Darkness’, so if by some cruel twist of fate you have missed out on Le Guin’s work up until now, this might be an appropriate place to start.

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Artist Mike Libby creates steampunked insects, and they are amazingly beautiful work.  So amazing, in fact, that they’re part of Neiman Marcus’ Christmas Book.

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My friend Nicolas Ward found these steampunk cakes.  The amount of fondant is staggering, but there’s no question it’s worth it for the results.

[edit - my friend Nicolas who has no 'h' in his name!]

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Arthur Chenin found this, and it’s so amazingly neat I had to share.

I read Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune’ when I was 13.  We were living in central Arizona.  I don’t remember how I came by it, but I still have that battered, dog-eared, much traveled book.  When did you read ‘Dune’?

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The Museum of the History of Science at Oxford University has an exhibit of Steampunk going.  It wouldn’t have surprised Verne and Wells to be told that their work inspired young people during their lifetimes, but I wonder if they ever dreamed that their tales of adventure would be firing imaginations and inspirations in the 21st century?

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Tonight we went to see Ana Laguna and Mikhail Baryshnikov dance.  I confess, I’d never heard of her before as I’m not a huge dance follower.  Baryshnikov was on a poster on my wall for quite some time.

There’s something odd about the concept that Mikhail Baryshnikov is 61 years old.  It’s true, though.  He doesn’t dance like he did when he was 20ish or 30ish.  As one of the pieces pointed out, in fact, when he danced in opposition to a film of himself at… 17?  19?  Still a teenager in looks.  He doesn’t jump that high anymore.  He’s not at the peak of his physical perfection anymore.  Neither is she.  The knee brace said it all.  But…

When a 20 year old dances about longing, tragedy, marital spats, and loss it’s very theatrical.  When a pair of folks 56 and 61 dance it?  It’s totally different.  She’s not a svelte little swan.  He’s not a young stud.  They know whereof they dance, and it showed.  They have the mileage to know how to project those emotions.  They don’t just act them out.  They can project from experience.  It’s a different thing.  It’s a VERY different thing.

Tonight was their last night, on the last day of their tour.  I don’t know if either of them will ever do another one.   I’m incredibly grateful to the friends who gave us their tickets.  It was a true gift to be able to see these two dancers.

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